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February 15 qi 有些歌词并连不成一个故事，一个完整的故事。其实，有些看似勉强拼凑在一起的汉字并不奇怪，因为他们已经表达出了一种感觉，洋溢着一种心情。它不再是一个故事，而是许多个故事，让听到它的人想起了自己的故事。
老实说，这种感觉很轻松，因为终于不用被强迫着产生一种心情了。
很可惜，这些歌手也都没什么名。不愿说出秘密的内向的人最多只会将自己的心情传感给别人。
有故事的歌听多了会累，像祥林嫂一遍又一遍对你絮叨。所以有故事的歌是祥林嫂。
这些歌多半有乞人怜之嫌。它们把人唱累了，唱烦了，唱脆弱了。屈服了的人们高呼心声，痛不欲生。
什么玩意阿，乱七八糟的，够烦 December 28 . 虽然连自己也觉得很荒谬，不过还是去了少林寺。
嵩山少林寺位于河南登封，整个寺庙很大，里面甚至还囊括了一个以习武为本的学校，最小的孩子才3、4岁。我们到的时候正好赶上了学生操练，才发现原来这里男女比例一样失调的厉害......
由山脚下下了车，就开始了我们的徒步之旅。那里的山都不是很高，但是很多，绕来绕去错综复杂（会不会是以前废弃下来的八卦阵呢-_-? 不过好像不同门吧-_-!)不过我还是很开心，拿着相机左照右照的~原来我们的古建筑无论从哪个角度拍照都一样的艺术漂亮~~这让我很为祖先骄傲不已^^
3点有一个武僧表演，还好我们没有错过，呼~~~
灯光五彩闪耀（五彩？！），煽情的音乐响了起来，好像就是要挑起我们强烈的爱国情操一样。武僧出场，刀是假的，戗是假的.....做秀一般的表演，作秀一般的表情，作秀一般的感情，仿佛真的如临大敌。记得曾经有人告诉过我，习武之人的目的是要强身健体，而不是挪之他用......我不知道这些武僧的目的是什么，我没有从他们的眼睛里看到应有的谦虚，更多的是暴力瞬时带来的狂妄。老头在旁边悄悄问我：“嘿，你怎么不照了？“ 我紧紧地握住相机.....照什么？照这个狭小的摄影棚一样的舞台？还是照这些耍猴的？ 中国武术博大精深，但现在我却觉得自己像被什么出卖了一样的难受。武术的灵魂还在吗？被金钱驱使的人又怎么会赋予武术灵魂？
转来转去转到了一个充斥的檀香的礼品店，又被一个守门口的和尚神秘的拉了去。佛缘、佛相的扯了一大堆，临了还往我脖子上硬挂上了一个双面佛。那刻我真的以为这才是普度众生，原来并没有那么坏，带着无限的安慰转身刚要离开，谁知被和尚又拉住了。他对我说要“积善“，我说知道了，回去一定多做好事，说完刚要走却又被拉了回来？！同样的对话我们重复了3、4遍，最后我懂了，充满鄙夷的问他：“你是要钱吗“.........也许我是应该为他最后的尊严开个价.....
那天的心情变得很坏，我不愿再多看那些僧人一眼，我怕我会哭出来。还有什么好看的呢，有的只是他们那对于财富渴望的双眼，和世俗的人们没什么区别的双眼，连看到的东西也都是一样的....
我不知道我来这里是寻找什么，但我明白自己找到了什么。突然我怀念起北京的雍和宫，因为至少它依然很高傲....... December 15 zzzzlistening alone, so darkness the night is .loneliness, and i am not happy right now.
though i understand what had happened, but just can't easily erase them at all.....
sometimes i may thought if only they hadn't happened anymore, i didn't even have a dream about it ~
please help me drop this away, rescue me , let me escape from such huge suffering....
must ,should be stronger and more and more....
make me strong enough....
i can do that !
i am stronger !
December 13 big shock of lifesomeone's proposal: could u change your conventional habit of language? for currently ,it is inconvenient to understand or grasp.
well~ the answer is " i'll thinking about it^^"
today, i went to a lecture ,a fiftes man ,who went streight across the second largest desert.
facing such enormous minatory, what is on his mind? i wondered. publicity? wealth? or sth we don't konw?
he said "live".
easy and simple answer, isn't it? so is the life.
sometimes , we both treat life so complicated.
When we are drop into the situation between the death and life, everything got its meaning, even a dusty.
But what moves me most is his attitude . He supposed to tell us all of his risk in the desert then, instead of that, much funny with his valuable optimistic attitude.
Comparing with him ,i should be shamed. i waste my life with many complaint and aways claiming that the life to me is so vain...
in a word :"吃饱了撑的！” December 11 At one time or another,i was told by someone that there is no veritable love on the earth.Well, i believed it resolutely for a long time , i was even thought there was no marriage can be held for the whole life , i always refused to trust anyone who is the different in properties. but ,everything is possible ,right? even someone changing a mind .y, i mean now i perhaps want to be with a guy ~hoho however i'm not sure if it is realistic.Is it true that the love is really existing today?Or can i really have true love again?or......do i still owning the capablity of loveing someone else.....now i am dubious about that. Someone likes somenoe else,whatever, ~ x'mas is approaching ....bye 2005 and myself of the year . And give my whole and best wishes to everybody ,especially my honey liudan. Hope u everything is ok there, and be happy forever with me. November 09 suck taint gothic ? maybe
i find this theme in the mouse's house. that reminds me a reality of the smile.
maybe ,there is too much smile ,that makes many people treat it like a fool.fuck! they don't konw what is the bona fides? smelling suck gothic ? maybe
i find this theme in the mouse's house. that reminds me a reality of the smile.
maybe ,there is too much smile ,that makes many people treat it like a fool.fuck! they don't konw what is the bona fides? November 08 let's stop and say goodbye ,the mermaid can keep the words alone u know the way to meet the mermaid ?
once u fall deep into the ocean ,
when u float on the darkness and endless silence
and the blue sky is just a piece of memory there
just when u wish to stay there in the deep heart of the ocean
just when u wish death for her
make a certain determined decision
and then , as u wish
here she comes ....
u were proved , because of your sincere and chaste love
in the end , u will be taken away by her
and it's forever .......
November 07 depart and eternity theme 为何世事总不如意？
为何我们会逐渐腐烂？
为何我一生都流放在外？
为何我总觉得不舒畅.....
除非我可以说自己的语言
为什么，只有当我重获了失去的语言
或者从寂静中找回了语言
我才会听到自己的脚步声在家中回响
告诉我啊，母亲
为什么我不懂得爱？
November 05 keep your words here~ha welcome ^_^!房子修好了，可只有我一个人，用背拍一下门，秋风敲打着窗户，我又要哭了。 夜里闪电，可早晨黑暗，太阳剩下了全部，过去的痛来了，让一切都准备好吧。 房子修好了，可只有我一个人，用背拍一下门，秋风敲打着窗户，我又要哭了。 这是命运，但没有好运，不管我问什么，只有我知道，在我之后会怎样，站在风里高歌。 October 22 sad leaving......She will leave ,to be her close friend, there is one thing what i'm afraid of is the distance of us,not for the phiscal but the metal. That encourage me to do one part : to be abroad.
i will try ,without considerable difficulty,that is all my target.for her ,for me ,i will try my best...... October 13 hotel californialistening to the "hotel california",such a lovely place ,such a lovely face......
but everything to me is no meanings,esp man. is there anything wrong with me?must be ,if not, why the man which i meet for are so unconscious.they just can't feel what i realy want or something else.
i couldn't depend on him , because i don't have any safety feeling with him.
well, maybe it is the so--called fate. it is the time i should give in.
no resistting,no hope , i can't withstand it. he won't change anything for me ,if he will, just event worse,maybe just like now he is. untill i use up my life ,i must go .in terms of me that is a difficult assignment or task whatever. if he won't ,i will change sth, if this is just my
actually reality fate, that i must face to it and accept it ,though sadness will enclose me inside...... July 31 在盛夏的夜里听着白色圣诞，那是种别样的感觉，
这里
夜深人静
只有迷人的旋律陪伴着我.....
365天，每到了午夜过后
内心总会翻腾着对圣诞的渴望
水泥墙的都市
忙碌的街道
乞盼的是一份闲适自得
一个人
熄掉所有的光
倚靠在冰凉透明的落地窗前，
窗外，
雪花
点缀着
房间里回旋着白色圣诞
把玩着手里的水晶高脚杯
红色的
晃晃的映射着这迷人的都市夜色
那是抛开了纸醉金迷后
世间最美好的一刻
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